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Quotes about pubs, beer and drinking

A lot of people have made a lot of memorable quotes about pubs and drinking. Here's a selection. You'll also find these quotes scattered around the site at random, just look at the foot of the page.

Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is however a prejudice that many have been able to overcome.
Winston Churchill

I don't have a drinking problem... 'cept when I can't get a drink
Tom Waits

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
Jack Handey

There is nothing which has been yet contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn
Samuel Johnson

Wine... The Mozart of the mouth
Gerard Depardieu

Beer... Grain of a higher grade
Henk Kooyman

Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk.
Christopher Howse

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
Homer Simpson

Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol
N. F. Simpson

Do you have a Gambling Problem? Yes, the pokies are blocking my pool shot

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.
Jonathan Swift

May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
Old Irish Toast

"People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
Capital Brewery, Middleton Wisconsin

Of doctors and medicines we have in plenty more than enough. What you may, for the love of God, send it some large quantity of beer.
Dispatch from the colony of New South Wales 1854

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough
Mark Twain

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt
Dean Martin

I drink, therefore I am
W. C. Fields

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

Of beer an enthusiast has said that it could never be bad, but that some brands might be better than others…
A.A. Milne

Beer... An intoxicating golden brew that re-emerges virtually unchanged an hour later
Rick Bayan

The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings.
Arthur Lewis

I may be drunk, madam, but you are ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober.
Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

A moderate use of beer will aid digestion, quicken the powers of life and give elasticity to the body and mind."
United States Department of Agriculture, 1866

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde

For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.
Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
David Daye

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
Dean Martin

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it
Raymond Chandler

How much of our literature, our political life, our friendships and love affairs, depend on being able to talk peacefully in a bar!
John Wain

There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer
Joan Goldstein

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

[I work until] beer o’clock.
Stephen King

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway - For Whom The Bell Tolls

An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do.
Dylan Thomas

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.
George Best

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
Stephen Wright

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

He was a wise man who invented beer.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Noel Coward

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Brian O'Rourke

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Joe E. Lewis

Beer ... a high and mighty liquor.
Julius Caesar


I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day. : Dean Martin - more quotes...
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